How do you say goodbye?
How do you say goodbye to the people who mold your life? To those who hold the sandpaper that smooths our rough edges and makes us touchable? Those who cackle gleefully as paint cans are brought out and the boring, introverted girl is finally prepared to take on life, to take on color and vibrance?
You simply don't say goodbye. Instead, you say 'I will see you both again'.
Because it's true. I will see you both again, so help me. I am not gone forever, nor ever truly gone. There is a spirit lingering in the forest beyond where we shared a picnic of stirfry and weird cookies. Of photographs taken and breath held as we thought our lives would be swiftly ended by a bear that purrs and rumbles in the hills. To the nights spent around a couple of candles in the backyard, crowing laughter at penis jokes in a tent and maybe even one too many gropings and rounds of 'whose hand is that?'.
To prom night when we kicked off our shoes and danced a ho down (The ho's are still mad at us for that. x.x), and spent twenty minutes picking bobbypins and stupid fake flowers out of my curly head. Good grief.
To the first sad goodbye when we packed Juli up and threw her at Seattle. To a tearful audience and a loud, obnoxious 'YEA JEKKA WOO!' as she crossed the stage to get her one way ticket out of stupid-school.
To billions of other moments. Random and beautiful. Look at us, guys. We have forged a path in memories. And now, as I look back on them all, it's hard to tell what I'll miss most. The acts, the strange looks, or the giggles later in the day when we thought back on our craziness.
Okay, shit, I lied. I know exactly what I'll miss. You both. Jules. Jekka. The two best friends a cranky bitchsquirrel could ever have. Juli, with your zen wisdom and wordly knowledge. Jekka, with your kind heart and ever-present hugs and understanding. Both of you have stolen my heart. Here's a small secret: I love you both. Best friends, sisters. Damn, I'm gonna miss you two.
Bah. This is why I type my goodbyes. I'm here, sittin' on my pudgy ass barely able to see the screen. By now I'd be far to inarticulate to speak properly.
But that's good. This time, I'll make it okay for me to be all teary-eyed and sniffly. Because it tells me something I already know: I will never forget either of you. Whatever friendships I make in the future will have to sit in the shadow of our great bond. I almost feel sorry for the folks ahead. They'll never hold a candle to you two.
For that, I am eternally grateful.
I am so very fortunate. This is the sort of thing you think about at Thanksgiving. What you're thankful for.
Jekka and Jules, you are what I will always be thankful for.
My girls, my friends, my sisters in mischief.
Cheers, loves. We have had one hell of an adventure.
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